It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
