Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
