Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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