I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
