So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
