i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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