Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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