Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
