There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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