You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
