Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
