you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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