WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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