Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We had to coat check the pizza.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
