you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
