The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
