I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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