You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
