we made out on top of his cat.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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