Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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