You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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