Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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