If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
