Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
