My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
