He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize