So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am one with the molecules
I would fuck him just for his dog
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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