imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
