I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
