It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
