We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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