If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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