If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
