Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
