How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize