my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize