Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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