at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
