I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize