tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize