I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
