I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
