and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
