it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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