I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
