just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize