I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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