I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
