you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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