you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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