Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ketchup is God's man juice
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
