The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this just has baby written all over it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
