You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
