I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
whose parrot is this?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
