Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
