If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
