dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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