Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
