You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
