So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
