please come you make the beer taste better
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
