Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
