Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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