i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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