You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
