If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
