I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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